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Tides of Darkness comments...
stormseer	Post subject: Tides of Darkness comments... Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2004 12:21 am
Brood Brother Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 9:52 pm Posts: 4598 Location: Suffolk, UK.	Sorry if this is a little short... ..I really enjoyed it, imo one of your best, Tom.. Loads of great description and I liked the little details you threw in like Konrad's relative lack of knowledge of warfare & swords..   One criticism- more paragraphs & spacing needed.. some of the text was in rather huge blocks which made it a little difficult to read.. _________________ www.darkrealmminiatures.com
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netepic

Post subject: Tides of Darkness comments... Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2004 1:32 pm

Brood Brother Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 4:26 pm Posts: 7016 Location: Southfields, London, England

From the WFRP list: It sure passed the first test. I wanted to read on. There were a few little typos and instances of incorrect punctuation, but that's for a proof reader to pick on. Certainly minor enough to not dampen the reading of chapter one. I really like the characters. They are varied, interesting, and bring different elements of the Old World to the story. I would consider employing more characterful emoting though. Particularly in the case of the Dwarf, who I suspect is one of those brought up in the Empire (Nulner?) by him not using Dwarven words interspaced throughout his dialogue, and not speaking in a different dialect. Am intrigued by the Sigmarite woman. I rather thought the Sisterhood was put down as heresy by a Grand Theogonist of the past. I also wonder how her divine powers will manifest. Hopefully not too WFRP, and different to the regular spells. Not to get too caught up in the two more extraordinary characters though. The others, the militia, were excellent. Very human, easy to empathise with. Does what it says in the tin eh. Jo' AKA Wyrmslayer Cheers Stormseer, I found it much easier coming up with new characters from scratch rather than trying to write fiction about characters that other people had already established in there fluff. BTW: A link to the fluff is here. Some of the formatting was lost when it was pasted into the forums but grammer and punctuation are a weak spot of mine, thankfully Doug has endless patience with my incoming submissions. Particularly in the case of the Dwarf, who I suspect is one of those brought up in the Empire (Nulner?) by him not using Dwarven words interspaced throughout his dialogue, and not speaking in a different dialect.

Not only is he an ex-patriot dwarf but he both fights and acts very differently to a normal dwarf. For a dwarf he is a very radical gunslinger type - note the for a dwarf type.


Am intrigued by the Sigmarite woman. I rather thought
the Sisterhood was put down as heresy by a Grand
Theogonist of the past. I also wonder how her divine
powers will manifest. Hopefully not too WFRP, and
different to the regular spells.

This is a small village church, it is very loosely related to the sigmarite church, she is more of a devoted housekeeper than a cleric. The title of priest is kinda honourific, don't expect her to be chanting prayers, bringing down comments and wielding a warhammer in the front lines . Though she is a dab hand with healing herbs.