Pity there aint no ladies here to comment...
How to Shower Like a Woman ----------------------------
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to whites and coloured. > Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. > If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. > Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups. > Get in shower. > Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. > Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. > Washhair again to make sure it is clean. > Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes. > Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until red. > Wash entire rest of body with ginger-nut and jaffa cake body wash. > Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower. > Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Mr Muscle Bathroom. > Get out off shower. > Dry with towel the size of a small country. > Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. > Check entire body for spots, tweeze hairs. > Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. > If you see husband along the way, cover any exposed areas. >
How to Shower Like A Man --------------------------
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. > Leave in a pile. > Walk naked to the bathroom. > If you see wife along the way, shake knob at her making woo-hoo sound. > Look at manly physique in the mirror. > Admire size of your knob and scratch your arse. > Get in the shower. > Wash your face. > Wash your armpits. > Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. > Admire knob size in mirror again. > Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. > Return to bedroom with towel around waist. > If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise again. > Throw wet towel on bed.
_________________ Tas My General blog: http://tasmancave.blogspot.com/ My VSF Blog: http://pauljamesog.blogspot.com/ My ECW Blog: http://declaresir.blogspot.com/
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