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Australian Etiquette Handbook
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Author:  Tas [ Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Australian Etiquette Handbook
Extract from the Australian Etiquette Handbook:

1.. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2.. Always identify people in your yard before shooting them.
3.. It's tacky to take an esky to church.
4.. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5.. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude
to take the trailer to the funeral home.

? ? ? Dining out:
1.. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour
slowly so as not to bruise the wine.
2.. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one
hand.

? ? ? Entertaining in your home:
1.. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared
by a taxidermist.
2.. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good
his manners.

? ? ? Personal hygiene:

1.. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done
in private, using one's OWN ute keys.
2.. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3.. Use of toiletries can only delay bathing a few days.
4.. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, as it
detracts from a woman's jewellery and alters the taste of finger
foods.

? ? ? Dating (Outside the Family):

1.. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first
date.
2.. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been
wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the dunny door
two years ago."
3.. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some
will say 10:00 PM, others might say "Monday." If the latter is the
answer,
it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

? ? ? Theatre etiquette:

1.. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after
the movie ends.
2.. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have
proven they can't hear you.

? ? ? Weddings:
1.. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2.. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may get you shot.
3.. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A track suit with a
cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
4.. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the
occasion.

? ? Driving etiquette:
1.. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the
gun's loaded and the roo's in sight.
2.. When approaching a round-about, the vehicle with the largest
tyres doesn't always have the right of way.
3.. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4.. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's
impolite to ask her to bring back beer, too.
Author:  Markconz [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 12:08 am ]
Post subject:  Australian Etiquette Handbook
Hell our cultures are more similar than I realised! Course we shoot introduced Ozzie possums here rather than roos!  IIRC something that would probably get you arrested in OZ considering how damn rare they are in their own country...  

Given my GF and I have been poor students living on cask wine for the last year I really loved 'Dining out 1'. :D
Author:  iblisdrax [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 12:45 am ]
Post subject:  Australian Etiquette Handbook
Awesome!  I love it! :p  :p  :p

my 2cents,

iblisdrax
Author:  Tas [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 12:50 am ]
Post subject:  Australian Etiquette Handbook
Quote (Markconz @ 25 2004 Feb.,08:08)
Given my GF and I have been poor students living on cask wine for the last year I really loved 'Dining out 1'. :D

You'd be missing out on an important aspect of student life if you didnt! :)
Author:  primarch [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 1:43 am ]
Post subject:  Australian Etiquette Handbook
Hi!

Where o where do you get this stuff...  :D

Primarch
Author:  Mojarn Piett [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 7:46 am ]
Post subject:  Australian Etiquette Handbook

2.. Always identify people in your yard before shooting them.


I thought this one was from the U.S. etiquette?  }:)  Or do they even bother with the "identify" part?  :laugh:  :p

Up here it's the other extremity; clobber someone who tried to mug you and you'll most likely get sued for exaggerated self-defense.  :(
Author:  iblisdrax [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 3:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Australian Etiquette Handbook
Just don't miss with your shot (after your identification of course :p ), and the perp won't be around to sue. :p

my 2cents,

iblisdax
Author:  netepic [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 4:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Australian Etiquette Handbook
Quote (Mojarn Piett @ 25 2004 Feb.,06:46)
Up here it's the other extremity; clobber someone who tried to mug you and you'll most likely get sued for exaggerated self-defense. ?:(

Aye - so true...
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