+++++++++++++++++++++INCOMING TRANSMISSION++++++++++++++++++++++

<[exloaded from] Davicus, inept-priest, detached service (10011100110011001011000, 9087010.M41, code compression wtf) [begins]

Lord Inept-Magos,

At your request I am inloading all data files and pict-records that I will compile on our forthcoming exploratory survey of the Marylandus sector. Why I am not sure, as they will be dually lost and mis-filed, but I bow to your greater ineptitude in this matter. Inept-Adepts Dwarfus-Supremeus and Mathius will be accompanying me on this survey, I trust you remember Dwarfus but not Mathius (no one ever does, there's too many of them).

Before we embark, I once again must voice my concerns about your choice of Safety Liaison from the Sons of Russ. The following is his response to the entireity of the exploratory fleet before we made the transission to the warp. His response made when it was known to him that a warp storm was building in the area of our departure...

<[transmission] source: fleet safety liaison, (1001011000100111001100, 9085010.M41, code compression pwnd) [begins]

TONIGHT WE DINE IN VALHALLA!!![ends]>

I trust my concerns are blatant to you, and I await your reply.

Intelligence wastes, ineptitude endures.[ends]>

+++++++++++++++++++++++TRANSMISSION ENDS++++++++++++++++++++++++

_________________
Dave

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Squats 2019-10-17

+++++++++++++++++++++INCOMING TRANSMISSION++++++++++++++++++++++

<[exloaded from] Davicus, inept-priest, detached service (10011100110011001011001, 9090010.M41, code compression wtf) [begins]

Lord,

Inept-Adept Mathius and I have rendezvoused with Dwarfus. We have anchored at the Vince Lumbardius sector to take on provisions and fuel. Apparently the sector is nothing more than a glorified pirate outpost. The inhabitants have practically robbed us blind given the prices we have paid for these meager provisions. We will commence viral bombing the system momentarily.

Intelligence wastes, ineptitude endures.[ends]>

+++++++++++++++++++++++TRANSMISSION ENDS++++++++++++++++++++++++

_________________
Dave

Blog

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Squats 2019-10-17

+++++++++++++++++++++INCOMING TRANSMISSION++++++++++++++++++++++

<[exloaded from] Davicus, inept-priest, detached service (10011100110011001011010, 9095010.M41, code compression wtf) [begins]

Lord,

We have arrived at the Marylandus sector. Our first order of business was to secure a forward base of operations, the planet of Marriottus suits our purposes and I have already begun the transfer of personnel. The Adepts and I have also begun our search for more adequate provisions, Dwarfus has located the moon of Gaius V which looks most promising.

Intelligence wastes, ineptitude endures.[ends]>

+++++++++++++++++++++++TRANSMISSION ENDS++++++++++++++++++++++++

_________________
Dave

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Squats 2019-10-17

+++++++++++++++++++++INCOMING TRANSMISSION++++++++++++++++++++++

<[exloaded from] Davicus, inept-priest, detached service (10011100110011001011011, 9100010.M41, code compression wtf) [begins]

Lord,

The provisions secured on Gaius V were amble and the personnel are in good order.

Unfortunately, in a spectacular display of ineptitude, Adepts Dwarfus and Mattius mistook each others charges for enemy units during the process of unloading. Rather than hail what they perceived to be the enemy they attacked one another. I was able to stop the blood shed, but not before the loss of one of the Ordinatus Majoris on loan from the Mechanicum. In your report to the Lord-Magos please be sure to mention that it exploded most destructively.

What follows are the pict-records that alerted me to this debacle.

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9096010.M41, code compression doh) [begins]
View of the area while en route aboard my shuttle.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9096010.M41, code compression doh) [begins]
Apparently some of the shooting dislodged an ancient tome in the north-west hills.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9097010.M41, code compression doh) [begins]
Adept Mattius claimed the tome, sighting its presence allowed him to gain victory over Dwarfus.

[ends]>

Intelligence wastes, ineptitude endures.[ends]>

+++++++++++++++++++++++TRANSMISSION ENDS++++++++++++++++++++++++

_________________
Dave

Blog

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Squats 2019-10-17

+++++++++++++++++++++INCOMING TRANSMISSION++++++++++++++++++++++

<[exloaded from] Davicus, inept-priest, detached service (10011100110011001011011, 9110010.M41, code compression wtf) [begins]

Lord,

We had discovered the vile Eldar residing in Marylandus. I have dispatched the 5th battle company and a portion of the 1st and 9th companies of the Subjugators to deal with them, and have turned over their command to their own officers in order to document the battle.

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
The Battlefield

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
The Battlefield

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
The Tactical and Devastator Marines of the 5th company touch down. The Devastators managed to claim first blood in the form of an Eldar Storm Serpeant.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
The Eldar's Fire Prisms destroy a Vindicator.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
Following the smoke trails of their brothers missiles, the Tactical Marines engage a host of Guardians, routing them.

[ends]>

_________________
Dave

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Squats 2019-10-17

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
The Whirlwinds launch a barrage on a group of Eldar Rangers seeking safety in a nearby building.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
Using vile tactics a group of Eldar catch the Captain, and over-all-commander, of the 5th company in an ambush and annihilate his retinue.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
The bikes, slated to support the commander, arrive to late.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
Falcon grav-tanks speed towards the Land Speeders and destroy two.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
The Avatar arrives in a flash of light! Thinking quickly the Devastors pummel the beast with missiles and route him!

[ends]>

_________________
Dave

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Squats 2019-10-17

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
The Predators avenge the Land Speeders and destroy all but a single Falcon.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
The Vindicators lay siege to the slayers of the 5th company captain.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
Using their vile portal once more, a group of Vypers skim past the Devastors, their fire has no visible effect.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
The Land Speeders regroup themselves in the wake of the Falcons.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
As the battle winds down my shuttle pulls back.

[ends]>

_________________
Dave

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Squats 2019-10-17

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
The Eldars' chances looks bleak.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
Emboldened by the last stand of their commander the Bikes charge head-long into the Guardian horde.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
They route them!

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
At this point lord, I must apologize. I dropped my pict-recorder out of the shuttle. This was the last pict it recorded and sent to me before it was destroyed.

[ends]>

In the end, the Subjugators narrowly routed the Eldar. With their second portal destroyed and Vampire delayed too long the aliens were unable to achieve their objective (whatever it might have been).

Intelligence wastes, ineptitude endures.[ends]>

+++++++++++++++++++++++TRANSMISSION ENDS++++++++++++++++++++++++

_________________
Dave

Blog

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Squats 2019-10-17

+++++++++++++++++++++INCOMING TRANSMISSION++++++++++++++++++++++

<[exloaded from] Davicus, inept-priest, detached service (10011100110011001011000, 9114010.M41, code compression pwned++) [begins]

My Lord Inept-Magos,

I must sadly report that the Elysian units seconded to our exploratory mission have rebelled. The 4th battle company and seconded 9th company support of the Subjugators were able to quell the rebellion quickly with minimal damage however.

It appears that the Elysian's colonel was somewhat inebriated with cough medicine. Not only was this the cause of the rebellion but their downfall as well due to his lack of any form of strategy. He was pushed out of his Valkyrie without a grav-chute an hour or two into the battle. The men have formally apologized for his pathetic sense of loyalty and his inability to command his way out of paper bag. They have been granted a full pardon.

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
I managed to procure another pict-recorder to document this short battle.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
Notice the clean and orderly deployment of the Subjugators, in comparison to the drunkenly composed lines of the Elysian commander.

[ends]>

<[pict-record] source: Davicus (1001011111100111001100, 9110010.M41, code compression w00t) [begins]
After an hour or two the Elysians had had enough. The colonel made a lovely mosaic as he impacted the Scholam's roof.

[ends]>

Intelligence wastes, ineptitude endures.[ends]>

+++++++++++++++++++++++TRANSMISSION ENDS++++++++++++++++++++++++

_________________
Dave

Blog

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Squats 2019-10-17

+++++++++++++++++++++INCOMING TRANSMISSION++++++++++++++++++++++

<[exloaded from] Davicus, inept-priest, detached service (10011100110011001011000, 9118010.M41, code compression wtf) [begins]

My Lord Inept-Magos,

It is with a heavy heart that I must convey to you the failure of this exploratory survey. The Adepts and I have found no signs of intelligent life in Marylandus. Repeat: we have found no signs of intelligent life in Marylandus.

I have already seen to the transfer of personal back to the cruisers and be are returning home.

Perhaps if all our contacts had managed to meet us we could have found different. But alas, one was detained and unable to greet us. Apparently he contracted a strain of Gonorrheaus from his sister.

Intelligence wastes, ineptitude endures.[ends]>

+++++++++++++++++++++++TRANSMISSION ENDS++++++++++++++++++++++++

_________________
Dave

Blog

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Squats 2019-10-17

Very nice.  

_________________
author of Syncing Forward and other stories...

It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I've got my Milkbone underwear on.

I wonder how many people will figure out this reference.

Great job, Dave. I was literally laughing out loud. Too bad the pictures of The Book of Mormon weren't clearer.

_________________
"I don't believe in destiny or the guiding hand of fate." N. Peart